Love?

Love. L-O-V-E. Amor. What's that?

Constantly saying how much we love this or that, not actually realizing… love, such a powerful and yet underrated word.

I hate the way we are used to it, as if it weren't a big deal. We waste words all the time, but one of the worst things we could possibly do is to throw away the daily "I love you"s. Open your eyes, world, someone is telling you they feel love towards you and you don't even care? And on the other hand, you just go and tell a person you love him/her as if you talked to them about the weather, motionless?

I must confess I'm one of those crazy, romantic girls who loves the idea of being in love. However, I am a bit scared of not recognizing my soulmate when I meet him –or her, though it'd surprise me. In fact, I'm scared that I might not have a soulmate at all. How do you know these things? Does everyone else have the instructions' book of life I'm missing or what?

Oh, whatever. Just take me to Pandora.

Remembering my true essence

These times I've been way too far from my beloved ones. The love of my life, that miracle I can always rely my happiness on: reading.

First, I got over a very strong prejudice about anime. I didn't understand it, hence I hated it for no reason. One day I just forced myself to watch Death Note, and today I've cried my eyes out while discovering Code Geass' ending. Plus, anime has helped me meet amazing people that love it too.

Then, I got trapped into hundreds of movies and series I wanted to watch, so the inspiration always appeared during my few free minutes – which I used to write until my nails fell from my fingers (not literally, though).

If that's not enough, I also made new friends thanks to college, so my spare time is now non-existent. I seriously need a week or two to disconnect, write, read, swim on a lake and listen to nature. Zen stuff.

I must say, though, that I might not be as relaxed as I'd like but I don't really care because I have never been happier. And the fact that today I ran out of anime, movies and series I wanted to see got me in a negative way at first: I was bored. But then…

Suddenly, a tiny, shy voice whispered: “…what about reading?”

My eyes went to slowmotion and glanced over at the book that was standing on the table at my right. A little smile popped out as I took World War Z and started reading on the point I left it months ago.

Finally the passion's back.

Magia

I'm dedicating today's post to talk about magic.

We value people who make us happy for obvious reasons, and now there are some individuals whose work is happiness itself, not only for them but for their public as well. Some make music, some write books, some create movies…

Happiness' got many faces. Personally, I think happiness is magic and we're all wizards –although some of us don't know yet. That's why sometimes it's hard for us to create an entire feeling out of nothing, we just don't believe we've got the potential to do it.

This is what the world needs to do. This is where I am starting myself. A piano is travelling all the way from Germany, next week I'll be its official owner and I couldn't be more terrified. I must confess I'm scared of failing, and learning how to play an instrument is not the easiest thing I could try, but if I stay in my comfort zone forever I'll only be a frustrated muggle…

The inspiration to write this today came thanks to an amazing magician I haven't had the pleasure to meet (maybe one day, though). Ese desconocido que me ha sacado una enorme sonrisa con sus palabras de agradecimiento y con buena parte de sus vídeos. Ese mago, esa voz, ese humano a veces incomprendido con demasiadas cosas en la cabeza y demasiado poco tiempo para dar rienda suelta a todo lo que quiere hacer. Sigue sacando sonrisas, Alberto, y no te olvides de que las tuyas también cuentan.

Confused

What do you do when all you've already done is not enough? I've fought against my biggest fears although they could seem stupid to you, and I've done it for him. But he always wants more, never stopping to appreciate the baby steps it took me to get there.
Now there is only pressure, misunderstandings and some annoying guilt on my chest that I can't get rid of, even though I think I'm right.
It feels bad.
Is it worth it?

In the right mood for sad songs

James won't give up

While I listened to this beautiful song, I just thought this could be the soundtrack to one of the stories I have in mind and, now, a bit in paper as well. The story of a woman who's turned into mermaid, hence her human life is forgotten by her and her lover discovers himself crossing the world from one point to another just to get her back. This song would obviously be sung by him, and it is so pure and lovely...

It's hard for me to believe that this stuff came out of my mind.

The unchosen one

Do you know all those stories where the main character is a child who's supposed to save the world in any kind of way? This child is the chosen one, he/she is special because of some unique cuality that no one else has, and, despite the tough life our hero surely has faced, the good ones always end up winning thanks to his/her bravery.

Do you know these stories?, because now I am about to tell you about the unchosen one.

They already had her. She was the perfect daughter, not only beautiful but also smart, lovely, cute, kind, polite and funny. They had been looking for her for years and finally they got the daughter everyone would've ever wanted. But then...

... then there was me.

She told me years after that she regretted the moment she tried to abort me, that somehow another child would make her -until then, perfect- life fall apart. She never wanted me, and still she received me full of fear and expectation towards what was coming ahead.

I was born with a broken bone –due to the rush of the labour– and a tiny body. When they looked at me, everything they saw was a terribly vulnerable human being, capable of nothing but crying and weaker than most of the newborn children.

They started to love me because I needed protection.

As I grew up, they found out I had some inner beauty. I was not as smart as my sister, but I was clever. I learned how to be polite and my sense of humor was ridiculously hilarious, and though I'd never be able to compete against my sister, I was worth it. At some point, I stopped needing their protection because fighting hard for my own life had made me stronger. I earned their admiration and that is how they started loving me for who I was.

They were not looking for their third child, but he was accepted as my sister was. I was the only unchosen and unwanted one, the one who had to build her own way into her parents' hearts.

I still think about this sometimes. I contributed to my brother being wanted, but they never wanted me until I was born. It feels weird and it makes me feel like I belong somewhere else apart from my siblings. Whereas they both were meant to be, I had to make something no one -not even Harry Potter- had ever had to do: become the hero of my own story.

Success

El camino del éxito

As you may know, I'm spanish. Por eso es por lo que he decidido escribir esta entrada en mi lengua materna, haciendo honor a la que se utiliza en el vídeo de arriba.

No tengo demasiado que añadir a lo que ha dicho Luzu. El éxito y el dinero suelen confundirse, para triunfar realmente tienes que dedicarle mucho tiempo y esfuerzo a una meta concreta y eso sólo se consigue si dicha meta te apasiona como nada en el mundo.

Se puede enfocar de muchas maneras; aunque él habla sobre todo pensando en el trabajo, yo tengo un problema en cuanto a decidirme, atreverme a hacer lo que sea y dar el salto. Llevo meses queriendo tatuarme y no lo hago, o pensando en ahorrar para una cámara de vídeo buena pero nada. Empiezo muchas historias pero apenas acabo alguna porque me da pereza y es más fácil buscar excusas. Y como esto, muchas otras cosas que me imagino que a vosotros también os pasarán.

Hay una frase de la que me he acordado mucho al escribir esta entrada, y es "Success is the best form of revenge", "el éxito es la mejor forma de vengarse". Me parece totalmente cierta para ser una persona poco vengativa, y aunque el estar aletargada todo el día me lo impida, espero conseguir algún día la fuerza de voluntad que necesito para empezar a buscar alguno de estos sabios momentos de locura.