Last Saturday I argued with a person I really appreciate. I do not love her, but she's not indifferent to me. I want to be okay with her, and it hurt me when I did not get it.
The same day, I had a huge fight with an amazingly important person in my life. The one who made posible for me to be writing this now, because she gave me a laptop and even my hands.
They all have in common that we argued, that they are women and that, somehow, more or less, I love them in different ways. They also hurt me and I hurt them. The problem is that, without trying, without even imagining it, they also made me wonder... 'What if I'm wrong?', 'What if the way I think is not logical, or valid?'.
They made me doubt of myself.
It hurt even more than the fight itself, because fighting for something and realizing afterwards that the pain has been useless, that you had caused troubles and made a mistake, meant that the mistake was you. That you had to change. And it hurt.
Luckily, I could talk to one of the women I argued with and we fixed it. She made me feel better and reminded me that we all share different points of view, and that they collide sometimes. When it happens, we have to look not for the guilty person, but for the wrong view. And I've been trying to open my eyes, but they're already open.
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